Yesterday on the way to the studio I felt like I was being followed by a creep. So I was constantly looking over my shoulder and holding my breath. Just like when I was ten. I was listening to music to try and stay present. Even took the sequase I have in reserve- I was suddenly staring through people again. I tried the strong menthol oil on the temples - I was going through all my skills I had on me- wasabi , strong gum. I knew I had physio to help loosen up the tightness in my neck. But today - my body temps are bouncing all over the place- cold by the extremities and sweating then shivering though I am under a warm quilt.. Grr - debating on if I should call the stand in for my care nurse. - it is Good Friday today and I am home in the safety of my oasis. I hate all these forms of dissociation- trying not to self harm. But the tension is building in the body again. I just had a massage yesterday afternoon stretching out the tightness in my neck only to have it spazz up again.
No comments:
Post a Comment