There are spectrums to each illness and some illnesses compound onto other illnesses. And the longer the mental illness goes undetected, undiagnosed, not supported the more complex the illness gets as do the symptoms are harder to fight.
I battle first and foremost post traumatic stress disorder, it was left undiagnosed for years- I would dissociate in the mall and lose track of my mother when I was about 4, very scary for both parties, I was also a bad sleeper. This also evolved into other issues, that were thought to be based on my thyroid (-I was born without a thyroid function)
Later I was probably showing signs of being Borderline Personality. And we realise I had a predisposition to Bipolar disorder due to my fathers diagnosis. But the Borderline Personality Traits started rearing their ugly head after the birth of my son. I knew something was wrong; but I knew instinctively how to nurse a baby, how to react if he cried. But his crying got to me, and everyone as his crying lasted a year, and other things started propping up in his health, and mine with the burnout, The abuse from my spouse became more prevalent. I was used to abuse as a child so I somehow accepted that I deserved it but I also Knew I didn't, but lived with that shame. Those of us with mental illness are that much more vulnerable to abuse and violence from others.
We are vulnerable to disability funding, lack of care by professionals, we don't change because we fear starting all over again and opening new wounds. Our reality can change on us in a split second, and we lose custody of our children. We are at the mercy of churches, and the social system to be a voice for us as people don't take us seriously when we fight for certain important issue ( and many a times we are verbally harassed in public for having had to make difficult decisions in regards to the care of our children and ourselves). Sometimes even the professionals that were supposed to help us don't and leave us hanging when we try to reintegrate into society. So we are back into clinics and need to stay for months at a time while our bodies and brains need to reintegrate, and we need to develop emotionally - for the years we lost as a child. And then sometimes we are blessed with a support network of people who will listen, who will understand, who can come when your windows start looking like they are wobbling ( no I did not drop acid), and then there are Drs who get it when your cognitive thought process goes out the window because you are over stressed. ( and she will help you pack, and she will help get you to the clinic herself, and sit with you at the intake interview) and there are community nurses who will come when you have horrible dissociative states and sit with you to help you come back to the here and now. Or nurses that will just be a good ear, or backup when you need to apply for a legal representative for your children. And there are churches that understand how you relate to religion and your healing process, and offer support that you can feasibly visit with your children.
People with mental illness can be vulnerable in the eyes of some organised religion- we just have to believe more and we'll be healed and won't need to be on disability- please don't debate with a friend over this this in a public place- it just insinuates the stigma that much further. And leaves us feeling that much more raw, vulnerable. And a negative focal point.
If I am participating in a program to give my day some structure and social connection- I don't need that to be insulted- I am trying to participate in life the best I can. This has obviously given me a safety net of people who understand my challenges. But we are no less an artist( or person) than those in the normal world. ( yes I get this often when people realise some of my challenges) don't worry, I am stronger than you think, even if I need more breaks or react sensory to triggers.
It would be greatly appreciated around the times we will have fireworks also to have safe havens and not be told we are babies- to just put a pillow over my head and suck it up. - um mister you have no clue how the nervous system can react to a trauma trigger. For all the soldiers home for the holidays, for police and security people whom have had to live with witnessing death due to gunfire and bombs, we are that much more sensitive to such triggers. That can set us curling in corners terrified, our blood pressure can drop drastically, our body temperatures change and we can lose orientation to where we really are. So think again about telling me or any other person with PTSD to suck it up over the holidays, or tell us just to keep it in the past.- we would love our past to stay in the past, but it isn't always the case. We may learn skills to cope with the situation better, but it never goes away.
So to remind you the person with a mental illness is less dangerous to the outside world, we are more often than not terrified, and vulnerable. The misuse of the language, instigates stigma that is attached to our illness, makes our fight that much harder. There are illnesses within that have negative connentations, and it is difficult to get help once diagnosed, but also treatment from other patients can be difficult.
And lastly language issues can make getting the necessary help that much more difficult. - I had to learn a whole new aspect of a language- it wasn't enough that I had to learn to develop my emotional language but I needed to do this in a language that was not my mother tongue. And not what they teach you in language school. So if you can have empathy for families of refugees, who arrive needing to seek help, and not knowing the language, and needing it to participate in life in a new country. And cope with nightmares, dissociation, and giving back to the society that took them in. Respect that they have been exposed to trauma beyond your wildest imagination, go easy on the fireworks this New Years and national holidays. It is most appreciated. Your neighbour with the mental illness. That combination that is debilitating. But I am a fighter, a mom, an artist and of course a person.
