I don't want to have a substitute- I would rather wait 3 weeks

I just want my own care nurse and no substitute.  I know this sounds ridiculous but I hate having to adapt to new people- this coming from one of the most open people- I knew I would need to work on my rage issues so I am knitting and listening to music to keep me calm and really I want to scream- need my batons and I need sleep. I hardly slept a wink last night. Which is clouding my judgement for sure.