Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Here's to the beginning of February

So i want to message a friend - my corrector button doesn't work nor did half the letters on the top row of my keyboard geesh - couldn't get a word in edgewise.  S it has been an interesting evening in an interesting time of the year where i question how things would have gone if vcertain events had a different turnout. 
So i am referring to of course my dad's death, and now my divorce, my voice, my strength and what exactly does healing mean to me.  And do i want to be healed. But i am told much of the damage has been done and it is pretty much irreversible, but my physical self is not the only part of me- i have a spiritual self. This is a part of me that looks for hope even when my pysical self is at limits, as is my emotional self.  That spiritual self seeks the light that streams through windows in the darkes of cellars and the darkest of nights.  
But what helped me with the question i battle with is the difference between healing and being rescued.  I don't need to be rescued by god, i need to be loved by god in how i am and all the challenges he puts before me.  I hear a song on my computer  called "Moses"  by Sally Barker,   It is about asking moses to be near me and to lend me a hand( it doesn't ask him to take away what my challenges are but rather just be near me and help me find that energy and strength to go further. That love that one feels while in the company of another who understands my plight.  I listen to this song and it does lend me that strength some days, as it reminds me that i am not alone in my journey. That i have a purpose.  And i am reminded this evening that i am not alone. That i am noticed in my journey.  And that i will be able to help others. 
So hopefully through my written word and gentle art i can help others, just as moses led his people through the desert and he parted the seas, it was his simpler action of just being there. His voice for those who couldn't. His voice to give strength for those who felt alone in their daily fight to feel like a human.

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