We mothers need to be our own advocates

"We may be ill, our bodies showing bizarre symptoms, robbing us of sleep, making us fearful of the world, hurting ourselves, and facing a stigma that is bigger than the matterhorn,  and we have children who we need to think of too.

Our illness may take us away from our families for a while, and we may also be accused of being selfish. But we are so courageous the people insulting us have never fought a battle as big as ours. 

And we need to work hard. We need to learn the lingo, so we can speak for ourselves to get the support we need and the support our children need. And some of us need to learn a language so we can speak for ourselves in therapy! 

As mothers and fathers,  we know we have a reason to fight that battle. And maybe when we are weaker we need to be brave enough to ask for help, and accept that help. And sometimes that help takes us back to a clinic again, it changes our medication, makes us meet and have to trust new support workers. But if you fight that support you make recovery that much harder for yourself.

You need to accept your diagnosis, speak up when medication isn't working- and keep trying.  If you hear a doctor offering a diagnosisthat you feel is wrong let them know. If your home situation is not supportive of you let them know. The doctors and nurses can only work with what they have! They can't help you if you don't help yourself..

And in the process you will have to prove your illness- with a mental illness it is the hardest illness to prove but the trained eye will see your symptoms, the trained ear will hear your influctions,  and they will help you manage your illness the best way possible if you have the right team - but you are your own advocate, you are your own voice, and you are a parent who love to your children will float to themlike songs on butterfly wings.  

Visiting days are hard- because you know they are so short and your children can't stay with you in your healing process. And you don't want your children to see you struggle. You also don't want to much time to pass between the visits. Especially with toddlers and infants- what little bonding time they have with you is precious and important in their development.  Be aware that when you leave your  family dynamic may change alot. ( especially women leaving marriages)  if you have been hospitalised for a longer time chances are you will not have custody of your children. But you will be prepared for that, you need to show that you want a relationship with your children in whatever form is offered!  Churches and women organisations can help find a neutral person to attend that you may be able to have time with your children.  It is hard to accept that you need supervision but you know that symptoms can occur without warning and you or the children need that support in the case of an emergency. Remember you are the boss of the situation! You are the one determining the team that is helping you become that parent and person that you can be. And you need to own up to it.